December 2011
177 posts
¤ You cannot run scared from what challenges you...
isheye:
-Everything this year has been for me, from every aspect.
4 tags
Just because the clock strikes twelve and a new year begins does NOT mean all of your problems will disappear. They’ll still be there at 12:01 am, believe me.
The other day… I took her thermal from our apartment. It was cold out and I wanted something extra warmth. I didn’t ask so, basically I stole it =(. But I’ve slept in, walked around in it, twirled in it for the past two days. I don’t want to wash it.. I don’t want to lose her. Think I’ll nap in it. I’m going to have to eventually sneak it back in…...
I’ve only had 5 hours of sleep last night and majority of it was spent tossing and turning. I’m extremely tired and yet, I’m still sitting here in my work clothes.
I miss my best friend Xathna (Hatnaa). Whenever I was sick or down and depressed, I could always count on himto leave flowers, a note or amazing hand drawn art on my door step. He was a hopeless romantic. I wonder if...
My car broke down on my way to work today. It was a wonderful to end the year. Even in the midst of it all, I found myself thanking the Lord because it could have been so much worse. I was on the highway, anything could have happened.
I had plans on spending the evening with the person I love, despite the hell we’re going through. I bought these gorgeous shoes to wear for her, along with...
1257pm
I truly just need to breath. Despite my efforts, I have carried on my shoulders all that I possibly could. The yoke shared was not even. The heaviness of the load has worn me down. My feet drag in the mud and I am broken, as rain pours down all around me. I have carried this load, day in and day out, for quite sometime. My spirit is just a broken as my physical being. I cannot carry on this way....
Cry for help
Think Im ready to take Lin up on her offer. PLEASE fly me ALL the way out of Virginia, before I snap completely. I can’t take another second, minute or day. I can’t. I can’t!
10 Reasons To Never Give Up →
inspirinquotes:
1. As long as you are alive, anything is possible. The only valid excuse you have to give up is if you are dead. As long as you are alive (and healthy and free) you have the choice to keep trying until you finally succeed.
2. Be realistic. The chance of mastering something the first time you do it is almost non-existent. Everything takes time to learn and you will make mistakes....
Luke 12: 22-34
Need this Nikon… Asap.
Sn: making a blog solely for food and my baking.
Also, a separate blog for my spoken word and other works.
1235am
untoldmanifests:
All week I’ve felt the sudden need/urge to move. Long before all of this. To just go so far away. To where, I don’t even know. But it’s almost like it’s constantly repeated. Maybe it’d be better for everyone else if I did move. If not, sure seems that way.
Twitter Fatigue… Hiatus.
sings Write the visionnnnn
If I could quote everything she’s saying to me right now…
I feel like it’s something Ki and I both need to hear.
“I’m pretty sure you’ll never let another relationship grow without verbal communication again.” -Lin
A-freaking-men
Currently playing: Mirror - Lil’ Wayne ft. Bruno Mars.
I can’t even tell you how hard this song hits to my heart.
Epitome.
Epiphany.
puts it on repeat
Crys says she wants to go to Brazil (Brasil) next year. However, I don’t know how serious she is about that trip. We did say we wanted to plan a vacay…until plans are in solid form, I’m planning a solo cruise for myself. Don’t care if there’s a risk of me getting kidnapped and murdered. That can happen on my own doorstep. I want to do something for myself. I...
I can’t even blog about my feelings right now. Everything is just piling up. But I do know one thing… everytime I see a plane in the sky, my eyes tear up and I wish I was back in Florida. I need to get out of here!
Off Topic: I dedicate “Make Me” Proud to my damn self. Motivation. Fall 2012. Into one career and ready for the second.
“Weekend in Miami trying to...
Ideas ALWAYS come to me while I’m driving. Yes, I’m driving and blogging hangs head I’m not proud. I don’t know WHY I didn’t think of this when I made the cobbler the first FEW times. I suppose I was making cobblers for the ever so wonderful Police force. Anyway, this upcoming peach season, I’m goin to do a peach cobbler with peaches soaked in bourbon....
Despite the fallouts. Despite the energy. Despite the differences. Heck, despite the fact we’re no longer together… she is STILL the person I think about when I come home at night. Wondering if she’s had a good night or if she’s made it home safely. Wondering if she’s settling into bed alright. Or if there’s anything she needs help doing around the house before...
“It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have...”
– Chuck Palahniuk (via the-endisnigh)
Speaking of negative energy. (Although, the exes isn’t negative, just heavy. She’s a great person, truly)…
He just popped up in my inbox, yet again. I told this person, MONTHS AGO, that their energy just wasn’t what I needed in my life and he STILL continues to contact me. Granted I need to mail him his comic books, shove them in his mailbox or drop them on his door step....
12 tags
I am “empath”, a term my mom uses, I’m very sensitive to peoples energy. Often times just being around a person who harbors heavy or negative energy affects me. It drains me. It intimidates me. It’s something that I choose to no longer bear.
In the midst of transitioning from relationship to friendship, my ex began accumulating a great deal of heavy energy. She already...
9 tags
I’m naturally a suzie homemaker. I love baking, cooking and cleaning. It never fails, no matter who’s home I’m in, it can be someone I’m just getting aquainted with, I ask them if I can help clean up. And if I’m at a friends home or someone I know well, I’ll clean without hesitation.
In retrospect, I think it’s moreso the genuine act of doing something...
So, this morning, my mom stole my soup out of the refridgerator and I call her at work to ask her about it. She admits to stealing it because she thought I was going to want the rest of it…but he’s the kicker… she then proceeds to tell me to “have a good bible study later on this evening.” -_-… Frances, man.
Oh look! A blog! Sweet!: Edge Of Desire →
verandahmaureen:
So young and full of running, all the way to the edge of desire. Steady my breathing, silently screaming, I have to have you now…Don’t say a word just come over and lie here with me. Cause Im just about to set fire to everything I see. I want you so bad I’ll go back on the things I believe. There…
5 tags
“Now faith is being sure of what we hoped for and certain of what we do not see.”
– Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)
Over the past few months, I have picked up the horrible habit of clenching my jaw, subconciously, when stressed. No matter how much I try to control it, once relaxed, my jaw will go back to a clenched position… it’s caused me great pain… these past few months have caused me great pain.
rubs jaw
Not really sure what to do. Wish I had my bible with me, but I’m at work at...
Proverbs 3: 5-6
Trust in the Lord with all of your heart
and lean not on your own understandings;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
"The Day" by The Roots gets me through
This verse and the chorus »>
(chorus)
When I wake up, I look into the mirror
I can see a clearer, vision
I should start living today
Cause today is gonna be the day, is gonna be the day
Cause today is gonna be the day, is gonna be the day
(3rd verse)
Uh, yeah, Sunday morning, plan my day out
Whole new blueprint, brand new layout
Deep down still don’t know if...
Looking forward to tonight. I’m anxious and patiently waiting. =). Sitting in my car downloading music to my phone and going back and forth between radio and CD. I would buy a new deck with an auxiallry, but I don’t plan on having this car much longer… eh but I could always take my deck out. Things to consider.
2 tags
Initiating time spent together 98-99% of the time is draining. I have a very big heart and I go out of my way, but it’s becoming tiresome when the same energy isn’t reciprocated. Then again, I suppose it’s the point of giving and being there for a person without exectation. It would just be nice to have somewhere be there for me and do the things I do, in the same respect.
...
“FUCK a tattoo, FUCK a ring, FUCK a password, FUCK switching phones, Jus...”
– @UnchainedVANITY
Weds-Sat (working Sunday, too, but that is technically the start of a new week) it’s back to work. I have a busy week ahead. Starting with Tom and his home-o-death tomorrow and then in the lab at LensCrafters for the rest of the week.
I will say that it’s bittersweet that I don’t have any opening shifts this week. I LOVE opening and having the lab ALL to myself for two and a...
I sit on the couch. Television muted. I can only hear the ticking of the clock and the sound of the heat flowing through the vents. At 12:45 am I have a strange epiphany… How is that I’m falling in love with you and getting over you all in the same time?… it doesn’t take long before I’m able to answer my own question… I’m falling in love with who you...
1 tag
Sooo the new season of Southland premiers in January… my soul just smiled. I LOVE police shows… hell, I love police. shrugs sue me. But back to Southland screams for 10 seconds straight I CAN’T WAIT!!!
I’ve met some pretty amazing people in the past month, man. Blessed. All I’ve ever wanted in my life was to have genuine friends and I’ve finally had my prayers answered. Sucks I’m 23 and went through all levels of school as an outcast, though. But… better late than never lol.
And to those whom I’ve become close to over the past few months… I’m...
That annoying moment when you have typos, grammatical and margin errors because you didn’t proof-read. -_- screw that reblogg lol.
natureaqueen:
Dear Emjay,
Don’t play with my emotions. I am waiting with my board shorts and flip flops on the side of the road with a basket full of goodies.
Sicnerely,
Linda
Dear Linda,
I am not! We will have summer in the dead of winter. We will laugh like crazy people. And live as though our lives were to end tomorrow. We will be poetry, freedom and simplicity, taking in each...
1 tag
I can’t wait to return to Florida. I know, I know, I blog about it at least once a week… it’s just… you ever go somewhere and feel so comfortable that it feels like you’ve been there all along? That’s the feeling I got.
I miss my room, my dad, the sun and warm gusts of winds. I miss watching all of the lizzards sunbathe on the porch screen. And the feel of the...